Brain Times

Just Dead

Eye Test

Here's lookin' at you

Eyes are... well, eyes are serious business. That's a no-brainer (pardon the pun). People have long regarded eyes with varying degrees of mysticism - eyes of a killer, portals to the soul, windows to the heart. Signs of the sleep deprived. That kinda thing.

Well, they're still all that I guess. It's not like people have lost their sense of the dramatic (far from it). Eyes have just become more obviously useful, in addition to literally becoming more useful. Even other people's eyes are useful now. That sounds a little psychopathic. Let me explain.

More obviously useful is easy - you become acutely aware out here that without sight you'll not last long. In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is King, even if he's a recently-reanimated-shambling-corpse-with-a-hunger for-human-flesh-King. We've all known politicians like that.

But beyond sight, eyes have become the tell-all that poets always imagined them to be. It's possible to tell from the greying around the edges of the corneas, those sensitive ocular nerves dying off, that a person is near death. That a person is infected, even (not always, some people just have light eyes. They were rough times in the beginning). That a person is gone, even if they died peacefully. So, yeah, eyes are important.

You've got to take care of them, which is actually harder - sunglasses are rare. Safety glasses... come now, when was the last time you saw safety glasses lying around? No staring into the sun, no gazing dramatically across the silhouetted landscape, hand shading out the rays (but not the radiation) as you search for the rescue helicopter that will never come. None of that. And I swear, if I catch another person watching microwave popcorn through a broken shield...

Anyways. They're important.

Reanimated corpse one, or two? One? Or two?

Ever wanted to test your sight? You must be new here. Somehow. Your sight is good, or you're gone. Here's a pointer:

look't this

You'll learn to spot these from further than you could ever hope to shoot them. They're everything - from currency to signs, from symbols to threats. Just not weapons. Dear Gods, never weapons. A weapon that's more dangerous to you, in the long run, is a terrible weapon. Ever tried shooting a mosquito with a mortar? Inside?

Well, if you survived that, this could be your new thrill. Fire away.

Sanity prevails?

For those in the audience that aren't a fan of hosting a ravenous horde-only death-by-metal concert, you're probably better off throwing bullets than you are firing them. Firing should be an action of last resort - it's like throwing snowballs at an avalanche-prone mountain because you got some sleet in your eye. Sure, you'll feel better. But you'll feel regret, and soon. And those near you will feel regret, and those near them. And so on.

So, stick with the eyes. Keep them clear. Stay sharp, stay alert. Otherwise, who'll read these articles? Eye need them, to keep me going.

Here's blood in your eye.


Feature: the most dangerous people in the world

Who's stopping the walking dead out there? These guys are.

  1. NotTheDuck with 339 re-deaths.
  2. BluStormFlux with 267 re-deaths.
  3. LordMouse with 172 re-deaths.
  4. Daleth with 11 re-deaths.
  5. AppleUser with 7 re-deaths.

Feature: the deadest people in the world

Who keeps becoming the walking dead, time after time? These guys do.

  1. LordMouse with 14 own deaths.
  2. NotTheDuck with 13 own deaths.
  3. Viat with 9 own deaths.
  4. BluStormFlux with 6 own deaths.
  5. bergen.larsen with 5 own deaths.